It’s so hard to believe we are already here at the 3 month mark! Jonathan has been doing so well in his growing, eating and development.
Last week we made the 3 hour drive north to Kansas City. While there, we met with the extensive cleft lip and palate surgical team. There were several people we met with over the course of about 4 hours.
We received so much information!
By the end of it we were so grateful for the plastic surgeon who will be performing Jonathan’s reconstruction surgeries. She is very experienced and I can tell she has a passion for working with children like Jonathan.
We will be having our first surgery on May th, 2016!
When they scheduled the date I was shocked at how quickly everything will take place. This first surgery will be a lip adhesion surgery. We were given the option of having one lip surgery but, we chose to have it done in two surgeries because Jonathan’s cleft lip opening is large.
I didn’t want to take the risk of anything coming undone. So this first surgery is sort of like a pre-lip lip surgery…does that make sense?
We will be in the hospital for at least one night, we will be praying he will pick up his eating quickly after surgery too. In order to be released he has to be able to take his full feeds from the bottle.
I was sharing on Instagram the tape that we are having to put on him for the 9 days leading up to the surgery. It’s supposed to help loosen muscles, bone and tissue so we can get everything more symmetrical and as close together as possible.
As of last night he’s figured out how to manipulate his hands to rip the tape! He’s a stubborn little guy and when he wants something off, he work at getting it off.
Thankfully he won’t have to do tape once surgery is over. I just hope he doesn’t mess with his mouth afterwards.
Up to this point it has been a trying, difficult and unexpected journey.
One thing I’ve learned is, no matter how much you try to prepare yourself for a situation you are always going to experience the natural feelings that go along with hardships.
I was grateful when we had to have a last minute sonogram thinking he was in a breech position. He wasn’t positioned wrong, but, that is when we found out about his cleft lip and palate. God was merciful for allowing us to find out before he was born.
I don’t know how I would have handled things not knowing…
I was given a month to prepare my heart and mind as much as I could. I still battled the very real feelings of not wanting him to be born. I relished the thought of hiding him safely away in my womb forever.
We have had tremendous support from family and friends, which I am extremely grateful for.
There hasn’t been too many things said from strangers when we are out and about. Occasionally a little kid might say something like, “Oh, what’s wrong with that baby?!”
I don’t let it bother me, I know if I was there age seeing something like a cleft lip, I might say the same thing!
So many things have taken place over the last 90 days. There were moments in the beginning I wanted to close my eyes and wish everything away.
In reality, I see how selfish these questions are. Especially when I take into account the fact of so many mothers whose children have a terminally ill disease, or maybe they have miscarried or had a stillborn.
God is continually teaching me things throughout this journey. We have been climbing over one hurdle after another. I’ve cried, I’ve been angry and I’ve had moments where I wanted to run away. Through it all, God has remained faithful, patient and loving towards me. He’s such a good God even when I don’t deserve it.
More than anything I hope by sharing this journey with you, you will find comfort and strength in facing whatever challenges you have in your life.
I have never believed we are meant to live a life of ease. Our trials come to us in all shapes, forms and sizes. Every trial makes us stronger and every hardship builds something within each of us that only God could cultivate.
I have never been a perfect mom, nor will I ever be. I know that it’s only by God’s grace I’m able to get up each morning and be the mom He’s called me to be.
I will have days where I am at the end of myself and will feel as though I can’t go on. Then there will be days where I feel like things are going well and my motherhood struggles are minimal.
There will never come a point where I am able to fulfill my role as a mom apart from Him. God has shown me how much I need Him during these last 3 months. He’s shown me how He will always provide me with the strength I need to keep moving forward. Some days are worse than others but I can rest in the promise that He will never leave me or forsake me.
We must come to realize that God forsook Jesus on the cross so that He would never have to forsake us…
- None Found