“Where’s my Saturday morning PODCAST from Minutes with Mom?”
You know how I’ve mentioned in the past about “life happening” sometimes?
Well, for us at about 5am this morning it did and it did in a very big way.
I had made mention in a previous post about our finding out about our 6th child’s cleft lip. We weren’t sure if he would have a cleft pallet too but we were preparing our minds for every possible outcome.
Little did we know what took place would change us in many different ways.
As you read this, just know I’ve freshly typed it up from the uncomfortability of my hospital bed.
Processing this all out helps me deal with the many emotions attached to it.
So here goes…
Labor tried to begin at home. But no matter what we tried it just didn’t seem to stick within a consistent pattern.
So what we hoped would be a nice 5-8hr labor process turned in to a grueling 29 hour life threatening ordeal.
So we knew about the cleft lip/pallet and we had prepared mentally as much as you can, bracing yourself for the worst and hoping for the best.
When we came up on our last hour I was steadily laboring in the tub with good, strong, consistent contractions. Baby was moving down just like he was supposed to and then all of a sudden the pushing urge set in.
Again, everything is going smooth and despite being exhausted I’ve been given a supernatural burst of strength and energy and I’m ready to push.
About 5 pushes in to it and BOOM! we have a baby boy, Jonathan Edwards
We start point and awing as they lay him on my chest to clean him off.
But then within seconds we realize something isn’t right…
He all of a sudden turns blue and goes completely limp like a dead fish.
My heart stops and I instantly start asking,
“What’s wrong with him? Why isn’t he crying? Why isn’t he changing colors?”
Within seconds the midwifed yank out oxygen and put it to his little face and begin saying,
“Call 911 now!”
Now my heart is racing?
“Did I just go through all of this just for him to be taken in the blink of an eye? Is this REALLY what you’ve planned God?”
In less than 5 minutes our mobile home was flooded with people.
EMTs are doing their job by asking questions and visually trying to access the situation and through this sea of people I see my husband standing in our bedroom, as I remain in the tub, with an overwhelming look of fear and confusion.
My heart broke the moment I realized there was nothing I could do to help him other than to pray.
In what seemed like seconds but was really more like 20 minutes everything was assessed, stabilized and little Jonathan was now heading to the hospital to be admitted for his cleft lip and pallet.
But then, I began to spiral downward…
Being overwhelmed and distracted by all of the chaos with Jonathan. My being able to deliver the placenta came to a screeching halt.
Rather than finishing everything I needed to finish for this birth (delivering the after birth and getting cleaned up etc) I began to bleed.
The amount of blood I lost in total was of an unknown amount. However, as I went to stand to my feet, my body quickly alerted me I was not okay and my body began to shut down.
Quickly everything switched from baby to me.
I don’t remember a whole lot of details. Reason being was because I wasn’t fully coherent. While my eyes were open I don’t remember talking, hearing or seeing much of anything.
When I fully came to was when the ambulance opened its doors and I was being wheeled in to the ER.
Little Jonathan and daddy were in ambulance #2 and headed to NICU while I was wheeled away in to L&D.
Here we are 48hrs after birth and I’m alive and our little Jonathan is too.
Now the circumstances were somewhat horrifying and felt as though at different moments both of our lives were hanging in the balance.
Nevertheless, while everything seemed to be flying completely out of control and I found myself staring death in the face for a brief moment, I was still able to hold fast to the promise God was with me and holding me and our little boy right in the palm of His hands.
No one ever wants to experience something as we have.
No one wants their baby to be born in any other way than perfect.
For us, Jonathan is perfectly formed baby. He’s beautiful and handsome and we are so excited God has chosen us to be his parents.
I share this on the literal heels of everything which has transpired to hopefully encourage you, be a comfort if you’re going through something hard but also to show how much God cares for us and loves us and wants to teach us about Himself throughout all areas of our lives.
I have experienced a whole new level of motherhood in the last 2 days.
My heart has been ripped to the very raw core and I’m so grateful. While I’m on the road to recovery alongside this little guy, I believe there are many changes within me which will continue to take place.
- None Found